I know the name of my blog is ridiculous but the person who inspired me to name it so is the person i'm going to write about in the following paragraphs :) technically i'm a half mallu and i was proud of it but Nanduma made me realize that she is a greater 'malayalee' than me.(Srruthi Kutty will verify this fact)
Nanduma and i study in the same college. i would be in big trouble if i name the college so lets just say that its quite a famous college and it has a reputation of educating classy people (ahem ahem).
About last year, Nanduma and i were busy with some assignments and we had to stay back in college. we had to take the same bus home (a comfy red Volvo). we also have a trippy volvo song sung to tune of britney spears' toxic to entertain ourselves as we waited for the bus. we try not to sing it in public as we discovered that people don't take too kindly to random singing girls. i really don't know why they have a problem anyway, seeing as we are not even asking them for money. so Nanduma and I decide to while away our time by learning a few words in Malayalam.
The ever eager Srruthi Kutty decided to teach us one word each day.
So one Friday as we were on our way to catch our bus, we were practicing our word for the day - 'VATTA' which roughly translates to bonkers or 'mantal' as we malayalees put it ;)
we were trying to make as many sentences as possible and apply it by testing it on random passers-by.
well half the people standing at our bus stop are malayalees from the aforementioned classy college.
so Nanduma comes up with a feasible sentence that sounded malayalee so we decided to put it to the test.
Nanduma looks left and right, finds the most mallu looking man, who probably was one of the lecturers of our college, yells at the top of her voice, "Ey!!! cheeta ninneku VATTAA!!!!!" (Hey! man you are mental!!)
All the malayalees turn to look at us. Nanduma looks away and starts tapping away at her phone which made me look like the random girl who is yelling in public.
Which is when i realized that i do not want to be a malayalee anymore.
This incident was followed by many more....
1. we were sitting in front of two old men in the bus and making fun of the ways in which malayalees pronounce certain words. it was pretty bad because the whole bus could hear us and even the conductor was smiling at us. later on, after we ran out of things to make fun of, the two old people siting behind us start to converse in malayalam. she got off at the next stop.
2.we were on our way back home and we hadn't bought a ticket yet. so she tried calling the conductor lady. she did not respond so nanduma yelled, "AUNTY!!!! TICKET!!!!!" . the conductor got quite mad and started to yell at nanduma! ,"OYE! What i look like an aunty for you?? DONT call me aunty!"
ya...so we dont go by BMTC buses anymore, especially ones that have lady conductors.
So the following are the rules to be memorized if you are ever to travel with Nanduma in the bus:
1. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MALAYALEES IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT VEHICLES
2. TRY NOT TO SPEAK TOO MUCH MALAYALAM. TRY TO AVOID IT ALTOGETHER IF POSSIBLE.
3. DO NOT CALL LADY CONDUCTORS "AUNTY"
4. DO NOT EAT GOBI MANCHURIAN FROM VIDYASAGAR ON THE BUS
5. DO NOT SING BRITNEY SPEARS' SONGS ON THE BUS
6. CARTOON THEME SONGS ARE TO BE AVOIDED TOO.
7. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE CONDUCTOR
8. DO NOT TRASH COLLEGE WITHOUT CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU ARE SITTING NEAR A FACULTY MEMBER.
9. TRY NOT TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER ON THE PHONE WHEN NANDUMA IS NEXT TO YOU AS SHE HAS THE HABIT OF SCREAMING, " RAPE!!! RAPE!!! RAPE!!!" IN THE BACKGROUND CAUSING YOUR MOTHER TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
10. DO NOT SING "COME TO ME MY LOUWER COME" IN PUBLIC.
11. DO NOT SING KANNADA LOVE SONGS IN PUBLIC OR ANYWHERE FOR THAT MATTER.
Having said all of that, you may think that Nanduma is not the best of travelling companions but travelling without nanduma really is the most boorrriiing thing ever.
I LOUW YOU NANDUMA!!!!
Nanduma and i study in the same college. i would be in big trouble if i name the college so lets just say that its quite a famous college and it has a reputation of educating classy people (ahem ahem).
About last year, Nanduma and i were busy with some assignments and we had to stay back in college. we had to take the same bus home (a comfy red Volvo). we also have a trippy volvo song sung to tune of britney spears' toxic to entertain ourselves as we waited for the bus. we try not to sing it in public as we discovered that people don't take too kindly to random singing girls. i really don't know why they have a problem anyway, seeing as we are not even asking them for money. so Nanduma and I decide to while away our time by learning a few words in Malayalam.
The ever eager Srruthi Kutty decided to teach us one word each day.
So one Friday as we were on our way to catch our bus, we were practicing our word for the day - 'VATTA' which roughly translates to bonkers or 'mantal' as we malayalees put it ;)
we were trying to make as many sentences as possible and apply it by testing it on random passers-by.
well half the people standing at our bus stop are malayalees from the aforementioned classy college.
so Nanduma comes up with a feasible sentence that sounded malayalee so we decided to put it to the test.
Nanduma looks left and right, finds the most mallu looking man, who probably was one of the lecturers of our college, yells at the top of her voice, "Ey!!! cheeta ninneku VATTAA!!!!!" (Hey! man you are mental!!)
All the malayalees turn to look at us. Nanduma looks away and starts tapping away at her phone which made me look like the random girl who is yelling in public.
Which is when i realized that i do not want to be a malayalee anymore.
This incident was followed by many more....
1. we were sitting in front of two old men in the bus and making fun of the ways in which malayalees pronounce certain words. it was pretty bad because the whole bus could hear us and even the conductor was smiling at us. later on, after we ran out of things to make fun of, the two old people siting behind us start to converse in malayalam. she got off at the next stop.
2.we were on our way back home and we hadn't bought a ticket yet. so she tried calling the conductor lady. she did not respond so nanduma yelled, "AUNTY!!!! TICKET!!!!!" . the conductor got quite mad and started to yell at nanduma! ,"OYE! What i look like an aunty for you?? DONT call me aunty!"
ya...so we dont go by BMTC buses anymore, especially ones that have lady conductors.
So the following are the rules to be memorized if you are ever to travel with Nanduma in the bus:
1. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MALAYALEES IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT VEHICLES
2. TRY NOT TO SPEAK TOO MUCH MALAYALAM. TRY TO AVOID IT ALTOGETHER IF POSSIBLE.
3. DO NOT CALL LADY CONDUCTORS "AUNTY"
4. DO NOT EAT GOBI MANCHURIAN FROM VIDYASAGAR ON THE BUS
5. DO NOT SING BRITNEY SPEARS' SONGS ON THE BUS
6. CARTOON THEME SONGS ARE TO BE AVOIDED TOO.
7. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE CONDUCTOR
8. DO NOT TRASH COLLEGE WITHOUT CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU ARE SITTING NEAR A FACULTY MEMBER.
9. TRY NOT TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER ON THE PHONE WHEN NANDUMA IS NEXT TO YOU AS SHE HAS THE HABIT OF SCREAMING, " RAPE!!! RAPE!!! RAPE!!!" IN THE BACKGROUND CAUSING YOUR MOTHER TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
10. DO NOT SING "COME TO ME MY LOUWER COME" IN PUBLIC.
11. DO NOT SING KANNADA LOVE SONGS IN PUBLIC OR ANYWHERE FOR THAT MATTER.
Having said all of that, you may think that Nanduma is not the best of travelling companions but travelling without nanduma really is the most boorrriiing thing ever.
I LOUW YOU NANDUMA!!!!
2 comments:
Aiyyaaaah Varshaaa!
lol.
Mallu Kuttis!
Aich! :P
So funny :P
ha ha ha ... i <3 u! enaki ninne valara ishtam aana! And yeah im treatin you to a free bus ride tommorow (: I love being malayalee!!
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